


the only traveler

by primasveraas



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AU, Angst, Finn sees things and its romantic, Force Ghost(s), Gen, M/M, Prophetic Dreams, and then sad, i saw an opportunity for more gay and i took it, the skysolo is very light but its there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-23 12:34:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23311579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/primasveraas/pseuds/primasveraas
Summary: FN-2187 dreams of the man with beautiful dark hair. He watches him being walked down the halls of the Finalizer. He sees him on a far off and unfamiliar planet, donned in an orange jumpsuit and running towards FN-2187. Their bodies collide, and they hug. It’s strange and forbidden, but certainly not unwelcome.When he wakes after these dreams, time and time again, FN-2187 can feel his face burning. Any shame or contemplation is carefully disguised by his helmet, however, or by the conditioning that teaches the Stormtrooper how to be perfectly neutral and devoid of such things as dreams, imagination, and wonder.
Relationships: Finn & Leia Organa, Finn & Luke Skywalker, Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Luke Skywalker/Han Solo, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	the only traveler

**Author's Note:**

> I had all and then most of you  
> Some and now none of you  
> Take me back to the night we met  
> I don't know what I'm supposed to do  
> Haunted by the ghost of you

FN-2187 dreams of the man with beautiful dark hair. He watches him being walked down the halls of the  _ Finalizer.  _ He sees him on a far off and unfamiliar planet, donned in an orange jumpsuit and running towards FN-2187. Their bodies collide, and they hug. It’s strange and forbidden, but certainly not unwelcome.

Other times, FN-2187 is trapped and strangled in his dreams, oppressed by a white suit. It’s not his Stormtrooper armor, but it’s just as cumbersome. Except, in his dreams, the suit is wet and leaking, and the beautiful man is there again. The man smiles at the solider, a wide, toothy grin, and the agent of the First Order is certain that these dreams are wrong and traitorous. He tells no one of what he sees, and the dreams continue.

The clearest details from his dreams are of the man, no matter the setting or their apparent circumstances. FN-2187 knows the feeling of the man’s rough hands like he knows the inside of his own bucket. He has that dazzling, gorgeous smile memorized, along with every detail and line of his face.

He sees them holding hands, palms gripped together. The man looks exasperated, and FN-2187 doesn’t know why this, of all things, warms his heart. It’s endearment, but the barest scraps of affection in the First Order never taught him that.

The dreams progress. There is a celebration on a jungle planet, and the solider is looking for the man- he spots the orange jumpsuit amid the crowd of people, and concern leaps into FN-2187’s throat at the sight of the man’s arm in a sling. Then they are embracing, and FN-2187 has never before known the intimacy of another man’s hand clasping the back of his neck, nor the feeling of hugging close enough to feel another person’s breath against his cheek.

The scene changes, but just barely. This time, FN-2187 is wrapped in a hug with two people, the man included. The other, a woman, seems achingly familiar, but FN-2187 can’t see her face to truly place her. Besides, he is holding the man so tightly in his arms that FN-2187 feels as if his heart is going to burst through his chest, even in sleep.

When he wakes after these dreams, time and time again, FN-2187 can feel his face burning. Any shame or contemplation is carefully disguised by his helmet, however, or by the conditioning that teaches the Stormtrooper how to be perfectly neutral and devoid of such things as dreams, imagination, and wonder.

Still, FN-2187 is comforted in sleep, seeing the same images over and over until they are like a home to return to. He’s used to it, and he enjoys it, but he can’t bring himself to say he wishes for it. There is little point in wishing for impossible things.

Even so, the dreams change. As new scenes unfold, the man progressively inches closer to FN-2187, and one night, their lips touch. It’s electric and wonderful, and it leaves FN-2187 burning for more in ways he cannot quite describe.

Nights wear on, and the man never leaves. He kisses FN-2187, hugs him, holds him- does so much more than what FN-2187 can modestly describe. They fall in love- FN-2187 doesn’t quite know what love is, being raised in the First Order, but he imagines that this must be it.

In the dreams, FN-2187 starts wearing a silver band on his left hand. FN-2187 knows enough about the galaxy to understand what this means. He shares a home with the man, spends hours in bed with him, curled up side-by-side. There are children running around, weaving through their legs and groaning when their fathers kiss-

The night before FN-2187 ships out to Jakku, the dreams stop. 

***

Poe Dameron dies on Jakku. Finn escapes the wreckage, but Poe is ripped from the TIE fighter as it hurtles towards the earth. He dies upon impact with the unforgiving, solid dunes.

The Resistance confirms this after his capture, disappearance, and crash. A few Jakku locals manage to contact the General and give her the news.

***

Leia's grief is one of the first things he feels through the force, although he won't realize it until much later. It seeps through everything, and Finn sees that she likened the pilot to a son. She has lost two children to a war that still rages on, unbothered by the sorrow of those forced into it. 

Finn escapes the First Order thanks to the man from his dreams. It’s not something that even processes until Poe is confirmed dead, and Finn is safe on D’Qar. 

He tells Leia almost everything. How brave Poe was in flying them away, how kind and unbothered he was with Finn. 

_ Even my name,  _ Finn says.  _ He even offered me a name, because he knew right away I’m more than just a number.  _

Sorrowful brown eyes look back at him, even as Leia tries to smile.

_ He was one of the best,  _ Leia says,  _ not just because he was an ace pilot. _

Finn explains his dreams- most of them, anyway- and how he knew Poe long before the First Order ever took him prisoner. The General hums in surprise, and once Starkiller Base is destroyed with a skillful shot from Jessika Pava, Rey waits before leaving so that Finn can heal and join her in training to be a Jedi.

Luke Skywalker is wise and powerful, but Finn’s mind lingers on Luke’s pervasive aura of grief. It never leaves the older man, however, Finn is almost grateful his own sorrows are echoed in his new mentor. When Luke opens up to his apprentices and talks about the losses of Han Solo and the next generation of Jedi, Finn confesses his own loss. He tells Luke nearly everything.

That night, when Rey has already gone to bed, Luke calls Finn back to their fire and tells him about his younger days as a Rebellion hero with Han at his side. 

_ You see,  _ he says,  _ Leia wasn’t the only one who loved Han like he was the center of the whole galaxy. _

Finn’s true feelings slip between his lips before he even realizes what’s happening. The entirety of his life with Poe- all that was stolen away- comes to the light, in the flickering warmth of the flames. It’s so natural to talk about that Finn isn’t even embarrassed when he sobs onto the shoulder of one of the greatest Jedi the galaxy has ever known.

_ Hold on to that,  _ Luke advises him.  _ The grief, the memories, the hope you had that you would grow old together. It hurts, but it’s all you have, and the pain aside, there might be some joy underneath. _

Luke retires when Finn’s tears have stopped and his breathing has returned to normal. The older man tells Finn to get some sleep if he can, and reminds the young Jedi that his ears will be open again in the morning.

Finn walks through the ancient village, down to the sea. The chilly water laps at his feet and the night air is brisk, but Finn doesn’t mind. He reaches out with the Force, as his mentor tells him to do each day, and there is warmth and love waiting for him, fleeting but not unfamiliar.

When Finn opens his eyes, he looks to the stars and sees all that could have been.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from 'The Night We Met' which is basic but it really do be like that.
> 
> I'm sorry for killing Poe.


End file.
